


Just Once

by DirtyLilGreaseMonkey



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Brief reference to self harm, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 12:15:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6284146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DirtyLilGreaseMonkey/pseuds/DirtyLilGreaseMonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron is too wired to sleep after the days events.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Once

**Author's Note:**

> The aftermath of yesterdays events.
> 
> I have no idea what this is - I'm sorry.

  
He stared up at the ceiling because it was better than closing his eyes, the day's events were on an endless loop in his mind making sleep near impossible. The more they replayed the more anxious he got, his stomach tying itself in knots as he thought about everything, the shame of having to tell his little sister what their dad had done to him, the relief when he'd finally found the courage to tell her only to turn around and see she wasn't there, the sickening dread he felt knowing that liv had ran to that monster but the need to protect her outweighed the fear he felt about facing him, he could still feel the adrenaline coursing through his veins and he needed it to be quiet, to let it out the only way he knew how. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and as soon as they touched the floor they began to bounce up and down uncontrollably with nervous energy, energy that needed an outlet. His eyes dropped to his hands as his finger grazed over the indentation he'd made yesterday. With a deep breath he reached out into the dark for the only thing he knew would stop his mind racing however briefly.

The vibrating woke him, not that he was really sleeping more like laid there with his eyes shut thinking about the court hearing yesterday and how defeated Aaron looked, his hate for Gordon growing with each passing second. He groaned as he heard his phone buzz again, squinting at the small screen he scrambled to sit up when his eyes focused on the caller’s name

“Aaron? What's wrong?”

“Are you awake?” came the small voice at the other end of the phone.

“I am now,” Robert sat straighter up and ran his hand down his face wiping away any lingering thoughts of sleep before he repeated,

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing,” Aaron breathed out and it was true, there really was nothing wrong with him he just knew he needed something and that something was Robert.

“Aaron?” Robert questioned he knew Aaron too well.

“Tough day,” Aaron admitted.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Okay,” Robert puzzled pushing his hand through his hair.

“I...erm,” Aaron stuttered not sure how to ask for what he wanted.

Robert heard the uncertainty in his voice and asked,

“What is it?”

“Can you....” Aaron paused.

“Want me to erm come over?”

Aaron nodded before he realised Robert couldn't see him.

“Yes.”

“Be there in a minute okay?” Robert was already pulling the covers back as he spoke.

“You still got your key?”

“Yep.”

“Come straight up,” Aaron instructed.

“Okay see you in a sec.”

Robert climbed out of bed and grabbed the first thing he could, his joggers and pulled them on over his boxers. He was out the door and across the village in less than five minutes knowing that whatever had happened was significant enough for Aaron to reach out.

His hand was shaking as he turned the key in the back door of the pub grateful of the fact that it appeared no one else was awake, the hallway in complete darkness as he closed the door behind him. He paused briefly his foot on the first step, he'd been here before, in the dark sneaking up to Aarons room but whatever this was it wasn't like it had been before, he wasn't there for that, things were different between the two of them now, he didn't know what he'd find behind Aarons door when he got there but whatever it was he knew Aaron needed him and that thought alone made his feet move up the next few steps. Once on the landing he took a deep breath to calm his rapidly beating heart and tapped slightly on the door as he pushed it open with a whisper announcing his presence in the dark.

“Hey.”

Robert barely saw Aarons nod of acknowledgement, as he closed the door as softly as he could, the only light in the room coming the small lamp by his bed. He hovered by the door for a second before Aaron gestured for him to sit on the bed.

“Didn't have time to change then?” Aaron grumbled as he took in Roberts ruffled appearance.

“I was sleeping or trying to anyway,” Robert groaned suddenly wishing he’d made more of an effort but he’d been so concerned by the need in Aarons voice he hadn’t even thought about how he looked, until now.

“Sorry,” Aaron offered under his breath.

“Don't be,” Robert soothed, he was glad Aaron had called him.

“So...,” Robert looked at him expectantly as he felt the bed dip as Robert sat down next to him his eyes never leaving Aarons face.

“What?” Aaron scoffed at Roberts expectant gaze.

Robert didn't want to question why Aaron had called him in the middle of the night but there had to be a reason.

“You okay?” he asked softly knowing just by looking at him, his hands balled up in his lap, the tension across his shoulders that he was far from okay.

“Fine,” Aaron lied in an attempt to brush off Roberts concern.

“I know you better than that,” Robert stated and it was true, they probably knew each other better than they knew themselves.

“Sandra's going to the police,” Aaron sighed out; it was a relief to admit it even if he still wasn't sure she'd go through with it.

“You've seen her?” Robert exclaimed this was news to him.

Aaron nodded his eyes finding Roberts shocked expression.

“She was here today talking to me mum,” Aaron mumbled before turning away and staring at the wall opposite them.

“This is good right?” Robert asked, he could tell Aaron wasn't so sure.

“S'pose,” Aaron shrugged then added,

“Liv was here too.”

“Liv?” Robert questioned in surprise.

Aarons head snapped back towards Robert at his questioning tone.

“Me sister.”

“I know who Liv is Aaron,” Robert grimaced; he could still feel the kick he received from her the day they met.

“Yeah sorry,” Aaron snorted as they both looked down at Roberts groin the memory of that day in the park pulled to the surface before Aarons face turned serious, the hurt of what he was about to say evident as his eyes once again found Roberts.

“It was her,” he breathed out, it was the first time he’d admitted out loud what she had done.

“Her what?” Robert asked his brow creased with confusion.

“My car it was her,” Aarons voice broke on the last word.

“What Liv?” Robert exclaimed his hands clenching by his sides in anger that his own sister didn’t believe him.

Aaron chewed in his lip fighting the urge to cry.

“At least it wasn't....,” Robert trailed off knowing how agitated Aaron was at the thought of Gordon just showing up at any given moment, his eyes scanning Aarons profile as he let out stifled sob.

“Hey,” he reached out hesitantly his hand coming to rest on Aarons back.

“She she doesn't.....,” Aaron choked before Robert pulled him into his chest.

“Come here.”

And Aaron once again let himself be pulled into Roberts arms just like he had the previous night out by the bridge. This was why he’d called; he needed Robert to hold him as he broke down in his arms. He let it all out, everything he'd been keeping in, his fear at facing Gordon again, his grief at Livs mistrust and the anger he felt towards Sandra after she finally admitted that she'd known what was happening to him. He stayed there in the comfort of those strong arms until his sobs subsided.

“I saw him,” Aaron sniffed as he reluctantly pulled back from Roberts embrace using the back of his hand to wipe away his still falling tears.

“What!?!” Robert seethed.

“Gordon I saw him today,” Aaron clarified moving a little further back from Robert.

“Aaron?” Robert worried,

“Why didn't you call me?”

“No time,” was all Aaron offered in explanation.

And there hadn't been, some sort of instinct had kicked in and all he thought about was getting liv back.

“Liv..” Aaron started but Robert had pieced it together for himself.

“What you mean liv found him?”

 _'How'_ Robert wanted to ask but he didn't.

“Yeah and all I could think..” Aaron shook his head; he could still feel the aftermath of the adrenaline throughout his body.

“Was to get her back.”

Aaron nodded in wonderment he still found it strange that Robert knew he so well.

“That's called being a big brother,” Robert smiled as he nudged Aarons shoulder.

Aaron had never thought of himself as a big brother before, even though he had been one all these years, and he knew even now he’d lay down his life before he let anything bad happen to her, perhaps that was what Robert had felt like when he tried too hard to stop Vic from marrying Adam.

“Is Liv alright?” Robert asked not that he cared about her but he knew Aaron did.

“I think so,” Aaron shrugged; she'd been quiet on the car ride back to the village and hadn't even said goodbye to him when her and Sandra had left.

“I don't know,” Aaron worried, ashamed that he hadn’t even bothered to ask her.

“If she's anything like her brother she will be,” Robert offered with a sad smile.

“She hates me,” Aaron cried.

“She doesn't she just doesn't understand but she will,” Robert tried to reassure him but it didn’t work.

“He's her dad and I've taken him away from her.”

“Aaron…,” Robert scolded.

“It's true.”

Robert nodded, it was true but it wouldn’t let Aaron blame himself for wanting to keep Liv safe.

“With good reason.”

Aaron looked wide eyed at Robert, still so unsure about why Robert was even there.

“She'll understand once she knows Aaron I promise.”

Aaron continued to stare up at him as his eyes glistened over at Roberts words.

“Thanks,” he whispered wringing his hands together in his lap, his fingers aching to dig into his skin, to do anything to take away the thoughts that were clouding his mind.

“What for?”

“Coming over in the middle of the night.”

“That's what friends are for isn't it,” Robert said a hint of bitterness in his voice at the word ‘ _friends_ ’.

“Is that what we are?” Aaron found himself asking as his eyes lowered finding Roberts lips as he spoke suddenly knowing a way to stop his thoughts, it had always been the same, Robert could make everything better.

Robert watched Aaron illuminated by the light of the lamp he looked almost angelic and as he leaned forward Robert was reminded of the moment they had shared on a park bench, of Aaron intentions and he couldn't mistake the similarity of that with how Aaron was looking at him now.

“Aaron?”

“Please Robert,” Aaron begged as he leant in further closing the distance between them.

“But...,” Robert shook his head in bewilderment, they'd talked about this, had agreed to just be friends he'd only gone along with it because he thought that's what Aaron wanted.

“Just once,” Aaron whispered his eyes blue eyes pleading with Robert as he let out a strangled,

“Please,” like asking for this pained him in some way.

“Aaron,” Robert pleaded right back but something in his voice made Aaron waver slightly.

“You still want me?” Aaron questioned pulling back slightly suddenly unsure of himself.

“Always,” Robert promised as his hand found Aarons cheek the pad of his thumb wiping away the single tear that fell from his eye.

“Make it go away, just this once.”

“Are you sure?” as much as Robert ached to lean in and close the distance between them he knew Aaron was far from ready.

Aaron nodded,

“Kiss me.”

Robert turned into him bringing his other hand up to hold Aarons face, he pressed their foreheads together and with one last look in Aarons eyes as if seeking his permission even though he'd asked him more than once Robert still needed to make sure this was what Aaron wanted. Aarons only response was to tilt his chin upwards slightly in anticipation of the feel of Roberts mouth on his.

Robert let out a breath he didn't realise he was holding blowing warm air across Aarons face making the younger man shiver. He closed his eyes and tentatively, he slowly closed the remaining distance between them, and with his hands cradling his face he brushed his lips lightly against Aarons.

Aaron gasped as Roberts lips pressed against his, amazed at how the briefest of touches from the man in front of him could still his whole world even if it was just for a moment.

Robert could feel the desire for Aaron wash over him and it took all his will power to pull back, when he did Aarons eyes were still closed. He watched as Aarons tongue darted out of his mouth and trace over his bottom lip, his own tongue doing the same as if they were both savouring the taste of the each other.

“Stay with me,” Aaron whispered as he opened his eyes, still so close it was like he was breathing the words on Roberts skin.

“If that's what you want,” Robert swallowed thickly as he moved back to take all of Aaron in, making sure he was really alright.

Aaron nodded,

“Please.”

“Alright,” Robert gulped and shook his head slightly.

Robert made to get up in search of a blanket, he'd stayed over at the pub on numerous occasions so could navigate around easily enough even in the dark.

“Where are you going?” Aaron asked quietly.

“If you think I'm sleeping on the floor without a blanket,” Robert joked with a click of his tongue trying to ease some of the tension he felt between them.

“I meant,” Robert watched as Aaron eyes flashed to the other side of his bed.

“Oh,” Robert let out before he cleared his throat.

“If that's okay,” Aaron uttered biting nervously on his bottom lip.

“Of course,” Robert smiled before he sat back down on the opposite side of Aarons bed.

They both laid next down next to each other in silence for a few minutes until Robert turned slightly unable to stop the words falling out of his mouth.

“I meant what I said yesterday I believe in you Aaron.”

Aaron puffed out a stream of air, it has taken him sixteen years to finally admit what had happened to him and knowing that he had someone who believed in him unconditionally was all he'd ever wanted and for that person to be Robert, the man who knew him more than he knew himself was like some cruel twist of fate after everything they’d put each other through. But even so he wasn’t about to let the only person who he could actually talk to go. He turned on his side away from Robert but reached behind him in search of the blonde man’s hand and when he found it, he curled his fingers over his knuckles and brought it around his middle. He knew with Robert there to calm his mind he would be able to sleep for the first time in days.

Robert sank his teeth into own bottom lip as he resisted the urge to kiss the nape of Aarons neck as Aaron snuggled back into his chest; instead he shuffled forward slightly squeezing Aarons hand.

“You're safe now, I'm not gonna let anything happen to you I promise,” Robert whispered out into the dark as he felt Aaron finally begin to relax next to him before he closed his own eyes and tightening his arm protectively around him he drifted off to the sound of Aarons even sleep fuelled breaths.

 

 


End file.
